Thursday, March 5, 2015

Fix My Wardrobe February Edition

While things may not be working out in my child's educational life, my pursuit of a better wardrobe continues apace.  Thanks to Stitch Fix I have not had to go clothing shopping for almost six months!  This is pretty amazing for two reasons: one, I hate trying to find clothes that fit me, and two, I look cute and hip even though I haven't been inside a mall or a clothing store in almost a year.

I received some feedback from a reader that she wanted to know more about Stitch Fix and how it works, specifically what it looks like when it arrives at your doorstep.  Since I aim to please here at the Misadventures, I prepped for a very professional photo shoot of my fix from start to finish.

I had two willing photo assistants to ensure that the photos give you a very realistic sense of what it's like to receive a box of clothing (or really anything) when one has two children at home.

The box is small and compact and full of wonderfulness.  And because I am a responsible Mother, I let my toddler use a pair of scissors to open it for me.  Hey, at least I didn't give him a box cutter!

It's like a nice little present just for Mommy!

Let's open it for her!
On a positive note, at least we know that the clothes are durable!  Now let's just hope my children didn't manage to get any regurgitated food on them which will prevent me from getting my money back.

Each fix always includes a note from your stylist, a price list, and outfit suggestions, all enclosed in a nice little envelope.  

Here's what I got in this month's box:  
Papermoon Hartselle Dolman, $44.00
Meh.  I just didn't think this was all that flattering and, if anything, it made my boobs look nonexistent.  I definitely don't need to look more flat chested!  RETURNED.

Market & Spruce V-Neck Dolman Sleeve Shirt, $48.00
I love the color of this shirt but it was baggy and weird and looks almost like a maternity top.  It also wasn't very comfortable and since I'm looking for clothes that feel like pajamas this was a "no".  RETURNED.

Dahlya Chiffon Back Sweater, $64.00
This is so not my style.  It was a little too close to lace, and mama don't do lace.  Plus it seemed impractical for day-to-day life with kids, but not dressy enough to wear out for a date with the Hubs.  RETURNED. 

Olive & Oak Quilted Vest, $68.00 
 I was not impressed with the vest when I saw it in the box, but I was pleasantly surprised at how cute it was when I put it on.  I was really torn about this one, because I liked the way it looked and it seemed like a practical layering piece for LA, but ultimately I just didn't think I would wear it enough to justify the price.  RETURNED. 

Level 99 Tony Skinny Jean, $74.00
The jeans, on the other hand, are so incredibly comfortable and really flattering and I've already worn them four times since I got them. KEPT!

I realize at some point I'm going to have to stop buying jeans, but I feel like the existential question of our time is "can a woman have too many pairs of well-fitting jeans?"  I now have enough jeans to keep me from having to do laundry for at least two weeks, so that's a win in my book!

Here's the part in which I've failed you, dear readers.  I completely forgot to take a picture of the bag with my returns in it.  The only excuse I can offer is Mommy brain.  

Here's what happens after you've decided which pieces to keep and which ones to send back: you go online to your Stitch Fix account and check out, leaving feedback about why you did or didn't like certain pieces.  Then you pack all of the stuff you don't want into the enclosed postage-paid envelope, and hand it off to your postal carrier or drop it at your local mail shoppe.  No mall visit required!  No searching for a misplaced receipt so you can get your money back!

Ladies, pajamas are not an acceptable apparel choice for anything other than sleeping, and you don't have to wear leggings anymore.  Trust me, your spouse will be so thrilled that you no longer look like homeless person that he might try to get in your (new) pants. 
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Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Five Things Not to Say to a Preschool Reject

Well, it's official: we are preschool rejects.  The last school we were waiting to hear from has joined the ranks in turning down the Lane Family from their roster.  In addition to the stress of having to start this whole preschool nonsense over again at whatever school I can rustle up that still has space in the fall, I'm having traumatic flashbacks to my days as a high school loser.  I've already had three emergency sessions with my therapist, and that's just today.

I'm still figuring out what our plan is for next year, but until then, I've put together a very helpful little list of Five Things Never to Say to a Preschool Reject:

1. He's awfully young to go to school.  Oh, I didn't realize that you had received a PhD in early childhood development since we talked yesterday!  I'll be sure and tell the Secretary of Education that someone who has a BFA in photography (with a minor in French), thinks two and a half is too young to go to school, because I'm sure he will really take your opinion into consideration and tell you to go f*ck yourself.  

2. It will be amazing to have him home with you for another year.  I totally agree!  Especially since you're planning to come over every day and keep him occupied while all of his friends are at school.  What's that?  You're not offering to babysit every day?  Oh.  Well then you're right, it will be amazing to have a three year old little boy and his toddler sister at home with me every day...amazingly horrible.  Nothing sounds less fun than spending seven days a week with my two kids fighting over toys and not allowing me the time to take a shower.  I'll be sure and send you the bill for my resulting inpatient psychiatric stay so you can see just how "amazing" it was. 

3. Can't you just sign him up for the neighborhood nursery school?  No, because much like the mythical unicorn, this "neighborhood school" does not exist.  I know that back in the 1970's, when you were last in the preschool game, this was how things were done, but the times have changed.  In addition to there no longer being neighborhood nursery schools for all of the kids living on Pleasantville Lane, teachers are not allowed to chain smoke around the students and schools don't serve Tang for snack.  Now go take your TaB on a long walk off of a short pier. 

4.  Los Angeles is horrible.  You really need to move.  That's a fantastic idea!  It makes total sense for us to pack up all of our worldly belongings and move somewhere new where we have no jobs because who needs income?  Not us!  We can live on love and peanut butter and see where the day takes us!  I'm sure our kids will find it thrilling to live out of our old Toyota SUV while we figure it all out!

5.  It won't kill you to drive to preschool in Ventura/San Francisco/Alaska every day!  You need to be more flexible.  Thanks for the tip, person who has full time childcare and a driver and whose kid goes to school two blocks away.  I'm sure that my kids will really enjoy waking up at 5:30am so that we can sit in traffic for three hours to get to school!  I know that the Little Lady will be thrilled to nap in her carseat instead of her crib everyday and that there's no way it will negatively impact her night sleep whatsoever.  And my freelance writing work will be ever-so-easy to complete while driving back and forth across the length of the great state of California.  What a manageable solution, thank you! 

Unless you have an actual, realistic, solution - like you'll be footing the bill for a full time nanny  - don't say anything; especially if your kid got into your first choice school.  Heck, I'm thrilled for you.  And I plan on asking you to write us a recommendation to that school just as soon as they start accepting applications for the 2016-2017 school year. 

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