Thursday, May 19, 2016

Panties, not Poise

Thinx review
Does this look like the face of a woman who wears adult diapers?  I think not.
The other day, when I logged onto the ol' Facebook, one of the targeted ads that came up was for adult diapers.  I realize that I've discussed at length my inability to sneeze without peeing myself, and that I currently reside in Los Angeles, where a woman of my "advanced" age is basically considered a Senior Citizen, but I don't think I've quite reached the adult diaper stage of life.  However, as I sat there staring at the picture of an attractive woman who looked happy and confident because she knew she wouldn't have to change her pants halfway through the day, I thought, "maybe I do need adult diapers." 

Thankfully, my bladder leakage hasn't reached adult diaper proportions, but when Aunt Flo makes her monthly visit I always carry an extra pair of pants in my bag, or risk wearing one of my children's sweatshirts tied around my waist.  You'd think that by the time a woman is in her mid-thirties, she would've figured out how to manage the monthly flow, and would feel confident enough to buy herself a pair of white jeans, but thanks to the whole natural birth thing, I'm like a teenager all over again.  Without the acne and the overwhelming desire to sleep with guys who don't know my name.

I was just about to click the adult diapers link, thereby relinquishing any hope of ever again being a MILF, when another ad caught my eye for something called Thinx.  You've probably heard of this item, unless, like me, you live under a rock called "children", but basically Thinx are absorbant underwear that can be used in place of panty liners or pads.  Well, this is a revolutionary idea, especially for someone who was just minutes earlier considering ordering adult diapers, but also because for every pair of Thinx purchased, they donate money to AFRIpads, which trains women to sew and sell reusable pads.  Not being able to wear white jeans during that time of the month is certainly a #firstworldproblem, considering that many girls in developing nations don't have any access to affordable feminine hygiene products.  Obviously, I clicked the link, rejoicing in the fact that I would still be able to retain my MILF card while simultaneously helping girls in need.

I ordered three pairs of the underwear - two pairs of thongs to use in place of panty liners (which I hate), and a pair of hiphuggers to use at night instead of a bulky pad - and hoped they would arrive before my monthly visit from Aunt Flo.  I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of the underwear.  The cuts are really cute and they totally don't look like period underwear.  Thinx have lace waistbands and a comfy fit, which I appreciate when I'm bloated, crampy, and basically hating life.  Thanks to the remodeling my kids did to my vajayjay, tampons aren't always enough, so with the Thinx thongs I'm able to ditch the panty liners and just rock my cute new undies.

Two caveats: you have to rinse them out before putting them in the laundry (gross) but you get used to it after a month or two.  Once you've given birth and taken care of children, your ick threshold decreases significantly, so it's not that big a deal.  Also, Thinx aren't inexpensive.  I usually buy my intimates from the bargain bin at Target because I'm cheap, so shelling out $24 - $32 per pair was a big change, but if you use this link, you can save $10 on your first order!  I think that ultimately you end up saving money by not having to buy as many horrendous feminine hygiene products, but math was not my best subject, so don't quote me on that. 

You have the right to wear white jeans again without resorting to adult diapers, no matter what the cost. 

2 comments:

  1. I was reading about Thinx the other day. Do you really feel confident wearing white jeans with them?

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    1. It's like The Shining over here during the first few days of my period (TMI, sorry), so I don't usually wear anything except sweatpants, but I've totally worn my white jeans with my Thinx and it was no problem. Try a pair out (I think you get $10 your first order through my link), and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised!

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