Thursday, March 10, 2016

Doctor Delivery

Is there a doctor in your house?
Parenting is ruled by Murphy's Law, especially when it comes to sickness.  Children never, ever get sick on Mondays, they always (always) start running a fever at 4:30pm on Friday afternoons, when it's too late to get to the Pediatrician's office.  If kids do happen to come down with something at a normal time during the week, say Tuesday at 11am, that's sure to be the one day that you have an important business lunch scheduled that you absolutely cannot cancel in order to rush your child to the doctor.

Honestly, there's never really a good time for your kid to be sick, mostly because it makes you sad to see your child miserable, but also because kids who aren't feeling well tend to act like total assholes.  I get it - I'm pretty sure that I'm a raving bitch when I have a cold, and my Husband with his man cold is the worst - but whiny, screaming, bored-out-of-their-minds toddlers take the award for "people who make me contemplate homicide".

After a week and a half of sickness, when my kids weren't getting better and in fact, the Muffin Man was getting worse (fever of 103 for three nights in a row), I knew that I needed to take the kids to see a doctor.  I really couldn't face having to drag both of my sick children out in the car, not when I myself also felt like death warmed over.  The alternative, a trip to our local urgent care, meant sitting around for two hours getting coughed on by the neighborhood homeless population.  I was weighing my options: be a good Mother and take my kids to the doctor, or stay home and pray that whatever was ailing them would eventually clear up, when one of my Mommy friends suggested I use heal and have a doctor come to my house.  I think we all know that I am a huge proponent of having anything and everything delivered to my door (hello, Amazon Prime) and the idea of not having to drag my sick kids to the doctor's office sold me immediately.  Okay, well that and the coupon code that she gave me.

I downloaded the app, requested a doctor within two hours, and a Pediatrician from UCLA (accompanied by her Physician's Assistant) showed up at my door an hour and 25 minutes later.  They brought everything they needed in a giant bag - not one of those old fashioned doctor kits as I'd imagined - and within 15 minutes it was determined that Noah had a horrible ear infection, Rose had a double ear infection that had gone to her eyes too (!) and that I was a terrible Mother.

The Doctor was professional, charming, and just to reiterate: standing in my kid's room examining him in his pajamas.  She emailed two prescriptions to my local pharmacy, and the Doctor and PA were on their way.

I know, you're worried about how much it costs.  It's $99, but use the code misadven20 for $20 off your first visit* if you're Jewish cheap.  Our insurance plan even covers a portion of the visits and counts it towards our deductible (which is amazing, since it doesn't cover much else).  I am never again going to force my sick kids into the car to trek to the Doctor's office, not when I can just tap the icon on my phone, stick them in front of a few Daniel Tiger episodes, and enjoy a glass of Mommy juice until Dr. feelgood arrives.

*valid for first time customers using cash pay only.  Expires 5/15/2016

2 comments:

  1. Why did you have to put a Jewish comment about being cheap?? Way to have a an interesting story and then completely discredit yourself by throwing in an unnecessary and hurtful comment like that. I hope your kids aren't learning that from you but if they are - you're going to have bigger issues than ear infections...

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    1. Hi mv,
      There was no offense meant. On the contrary, I'm actually Jewish (and raising my kids as Jews), which I discuss often here on the blog. As a former stand-up comedian, I make it my business to poke fun at the ridiculous stereotypes that we Chosen People encounter. I hope you'll give the Misadventures another read as I've got some fantastic Passover recipes coming up next month! xoxo

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