Thursday, September 24, 2015

Fix My Wardrobe: August Edition

 Nene Striped Dress
The weather here in Los Angeles has been far from what I would call "autumnal", but a new season is upon us, which means it's time to stock up on fall wardrobe pieces.  Sure, yoga pants are perfect for every season (and practically every occasion) but once and awhile it's nice to wear clothing that isn't made out of spandex.

As of this month it's officially been one year since I decided to sign up for Stitch Fix and pay someone else to do my shopping.  My last box didn't yielded any gems, but I'm going to overlook that fault because the service has added enough cute stuff to my wardrobe to keep me from having to go shopping with my offspring in tow.  Trust me, after twenty minutes of navigating a store with a double stroller and two screaming children, you'll understand why I'm willing to pay almost any amount to avoid this nightmare.

In fact, I might even part with my first born in exchange for fashion, should Stitch Fix ever hire Rumple Stitltskin.

Unfortunately, my most recent box was uninspiring.  I loved the black and white color palette, but the items themselves... not so much.
RD Style Culotte Pant
RD style karl culotte pant RD style karl culotte pant
RD Style Karl Culotte Pant, $68
Last month I sent my stylist a note and asked for a pair of pants that weren't jeans.  I actually liked these culottes, and they were really nice quality, but definitely not something that I would wear to the park or to toddler music class.  Anything that's labeled "dry clean only" is not a practical choice at this particular stage of my life, wherein my children use me as a napkin.  RETURNED
bancroft jaya twist loop earrings Bancroft Jayda twist loop earrings
Bancroft Jayda Twist Loop Earrings, $28
I really liked these in the box, but I thought they were kind of underwhelming when I put them on.  Also, I felt as though I could get something similar at Forever 21 for about six bucks.  My kids enjoy playing in my jewelry box, so it's a lot less painful to lose the mate to a six dollar earring instead of one that costs twenty eight.  RETURNED
Le Lis Nene Striped dress Le Lis Nene striped dress
Le Lis Nene Striped Dress, $74
I hated everything about this dress other than the color of the skirt.  The length was unflattering, the top made my boobs look super saggy, and it was totally dowdy.  I felt as though I would fit right in as a Sister Wife if I sported this fashion travesty.  At least my hair looks cute.  RETURNED
Renee C Deanton Peplum Top Renee C Deanton Peplum Top
Renee C Deanton Peplum Top, $44
I'm pretty sure this top wins for the least flattering piece of clothing I've worn in my entire life.  Okay, maybe the second most after the maroon bridesmaid dress I wore in the early '90's.  Anyway, this was heinous and also totally impractical considering I have two children who eat purple food and wipe their hands on me.  It was also stiff and kind of uncomfortable and not at all my style.  RETURNED
Pixley Lotiz Pixley crochet back

Pixley crochet split back top
Pixley Lotiz Crochet Split Back Knit Top, $48
The comfort level of this top is a 10, but the stripes and the lace were not happening.  I keep telling my stylists to please not send lace, but this seems to get lost in translation over at Stitch Fix.  I really hate lace.  In fact, it's possible that I have some sort of allergy to it.  I think the idea of this top is great, especially in LA where it's not really that cold, but you want to wear something sort of sweater-like, but this didn't work for me at all.  RETURNED.  

So I guess this means I'll be wearing yoga pants to everything for the next few months.  Or, if this heatwave holds, a pair of cutoff maternity jeans, because nothing says sexy like an elastic waistband.  

Photos by the talented Tuna Boon for Misadventures in Motherhood

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