Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Baby You're a Toddler

One year old girl birthday

Did you know that the Little Lady is going to be a year old in 12 days?  Yeah, neither did I.  I was looking at my calendar yesterday, scheduling some work meetings, when all of the sudden it dawned on me that Rose's birthday is just under two weeks away.

Setting aside the fact that I am a negligent Mother who didn't realize that her daughter's birthday was just around the corner and, therefore, has not planned a birthday party, lets focus on what it means that Rose is turning one. 
That one year birthday feels like a big deal.  It's the turning point from baby to toddler, which means that these are my last few days of having a baby.  I admit to feeling a little bit emotional.  I didn't think that I would, since I know without a doubt that I don't want any more children, but I'm just a teensy bit sad that the sweetness of the baby stage is over for good.

*Sniff*.  Those aren't tears, it's just one of my eyelash extensions falling into my eye, I swear.

Five things I'm going to miss about having a baby:

1. The snuggles.  I know that right now those of you with newborns think that I am crazy and/or drunk, because you would give ANYTHING to not have a tiny human attached to your nipple at all hours of the day and night, but I assure you that I am totally sober and that you will be surprised how much you miss having a baby sleeping on your chest.  The only thing my kids are doing on my chest these days is climbing on top of me or looking inside my shirt and pronouncing my boobs to be "floppy", so yeah, I definitely miss being used as a pillow rather than a step ladder.

2. New baby scent.  Babies smell really yummy, sort of like sugar-dusted fresh bread with a side of warm milk.  You know what toddlers smell like?  Poop, playdough and popsicles, often all at the same time.  Please trust me when I tell you that toddler poop, unlike newborn poop, smells disgusting, and the scent permeates your entire house.

3.  The new baby excuse.  One of the best things about having a newborn is that no one expects you to be functional and it is AMAZING.  If your house looks like something from Hoarders and you haven't washed your hair in three weeks, everyone will just blame it on the new baby.  Wearing poop-stained clothing?  That's the baby's fault!  Eating off of paper plates because every dish is dirty?  That's okay, nobody with a newborn has time to load the dishwasher!  Not so when you have a toddler.  No, people expect you to be functional and have decent personal hygiene.  If you smell and your kids are wearing poop-stained clothes you might end up being visited by a social worker from Child Protective Services. 

4. Free stuff.  You know what people love to do when you have a new baby?  Bring you sh*t.  They bring you food, and gifts, and they come over and wash your dishes and do your laundry and hold your baby so you can rest.  Nobody comes to visit you when you have a toddler.  Sure, you would love a home cooked meal made by somebody else, and if you have to do one more load of dishes or laundry you might go postal, but ain't nobody interested in helping out a tired toddler Mommy.  The thrill has worn off and, let's be real, no one in their right mind wants to play those annoying games with your toddler - not even you.

5.  The quiet time.  Yes, you're exhausted and the thought of getting up for the fourth time in one night to feed your baby makes you (literally) cry, but I miss those quiet moments in the middle of the night when it was just me and my baby sitting in the dark.  Once your babies are older and on the move, the quiet moments are few and far between, reserved mostly for times when they aren't feeling well and they just need some Mommy love.  I wish that I'd savored those middle of the night moments a tiny bit more, when the sounds of nighttime surrounded us and we were both nodding off a little while she nursed.

Babies are wonderful, and while I'm kind of sad that Rose's baby stage is coming to an end, I comfort myself with knowing that I will sleep through the night tonight and tomorrow and, most likely, the next night, which, it turns out, is way better than new baby scent. 


  1. I miss those times too, especially since I am entering the terrible two's. Vodka, anyone?!?! ;)

    1. The two year old tantrums and drama make the exhausted baby days seem so easy, right?!

  2. The youngest Minions are 3 and 2.

    And don't sleep through the night reliably.

    On the good side, the 3 older kids are learning to cook. Ok, the teenager already does, and the Middle Minions are learning.


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