Thursday, March 26, 2015

You Need to Get Blown

This is as close as I'll ever get to a Gisele moment.
The year after you have a baby kind of sucks.  Oh sure, you're thrilled that you have a new child, but adjusting to having an infant and not yet feeling like your old self is just...shitty.  Add into the equation the huge hormonal shifts that your body goes through, as well as the physical transformation from "pregnant" to "I still look pregnant" to "where have my boobies gone?", and it can be a real downer.  I'm currently enjoying the fabulous postpartum hair loss stage, wherein all of the hair that you didn't lose during the time you were pregnant begins to fall out in clumps.  Not just a few strands here or there, mind you, but actual handfuls of hair that clog every drain in your house and leave weird hair creatures lurking under your bed liable to scare your Swiffer.  There is nothing sexier than getting your groove on with your spouse and having him end up with a giant fistful of hair.  Real boner killer there, folks.

As if the whole hair loss thing wasn't bad enough, the final gasp of pregnancy hormones leaving your body can make you feel kind of depressed.  I tend to get pretty weepy around the nine month mark, especially since that seems to be when my kids choose to self wean, so at the end of the day I can often be found in my bed sobbing uncontrollably, tossing back placenta pills and watching Pride and Prejudice (the BBC version, natch) on repeat.  Geez, it depresses me just writing about it.

When my hair started falling out again I had half a mind to chop it all off and go back to rocking my Mia Farrow look, but the realization that I am no longer a nubile 22 year old but rather a tired, out of shape 30-something year old dissuaded me from that idea.  However, one night when the Hubs and I were supposed to go out on a hot date and a few clumps of hair combined with my lack of hair styling skillz left me weeping in the bathtub, I knew that I needed to find a way to feel attractive again in spite of my thinning hair and non-existent boobs

I love getting my hair blown out, but the reality of life with two kids is that I can't justify hiring a sitter because I'm inept with a round brush.  I was beginning to despair of ever looking halfway decent again when I was cruising Facebook (i.e. wallowing in self pity) and saw an ad for something called Blow Me.  No, it wasn't my ex-boyfriend looking to traumatize someone new, but rather a service that comes to your house and blows out your hair!  This sounded promising, but I assumed it would cost more than I spent on my last furniture purchase from Craigslist.  Low and behold, it's actually cheaper than going to Drybar!  If you schedule in advance, it's $40 (including tip) for someone to come to your house and transform you from Minivan Mom to MILF.  No cash money is exchanged, it's all charged automatically to your credit card, so your hair stylist extraordinaire shows up at your house, works his or her magic and you just click a button on your phone to reflect that you got your hair did.  It's amazing.  You do have to wash your hair yourself, so I guess if you prefer to have a professional shampoo this isn't the service for you, but I'm totally willing to give myself a scalp massage if it means that I don't have to leave my house.  I've used Blow Me five times over the last year or so, and I've always had a great experience.  The stylists are professional, charming, and put up with me having to take quick breaks for breastfeeding or snack handouting.  I try to schedule my appointments during the kids' nap times so that I can relax and not have to worry about the Muffin Man throwing a fit about not being allowed to play with the hairdresser's blowdryer or the Little Lady eating a tube of leave in conditioner.  It's like Uber for hair, except without the side of kidnapping and sexual assault!

While I would love to be able to use Blow Me every week, my bank account currently hovers closer to "unemployed" than "rich and famous", so I only indulge my blow out cravings for special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries.  I always feel so much better about myself when I have clean, freshly styled hair, which I definitely think is important; especially when one's hairline is beginning to closely resemble that of a completely bald new baby's.

Just in case you were wondering, this is in no way, shape, or form a sponsored post.  I simply want to share my love for Blow Me with you beautiful people.  That being said, I do get a credit if you use my referral code: uFyWghhogU the first time you get glamorous, but you, too, can share the love and reap the rewards once you become a Blow Me convert!

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