Tuesday, February 3, 2015

You Get Measles! Everybody Gets Measles!

She would look far less cute covered in spots.
I was contemplating taking the kids to Disneyland to celebrate the fact that I survived two years of parenthood without a single trip to the ER or the psych ward, but thanks to a little something called "the measles", I've decided to postpone that outing for a while.  Heck, I've decided to postpone pretty much any outing for the Little Lady after hearing that a baby at a daycare in Santa Monica is now covered in spots

Trust me, I'm not exactly thrilled with the prospect of being stuck in my tiny duplex with an infant and a toddler, but the alternative, of ending up with a sick kid stuck in the hospital... uh, no thanks.  I would love to take Rose to Mommy and Me classes and the baby gym and whatever other activities are trendy for the under-a-year set, but I just don't want to run the risk of my baby getting sick. 

Am I being paranoid?  Maybe.  But the problem is that I live in Los Angeles, in an area where it's somewhat trendy for people to choose not to vaccinate their kids, and while I can look at the online map that tells me the percentage of unvaccinated kids at all the schools around town, it doesn't tell me anything about the Mommy groups or the indoor play areas or the music classes.

Let's not pretend you can ask the other Mothers at these groups if their kids are vaccinated.  No, that would never do.  If you even dare to bring up the topic of vaccines in these scenarios, places that are supposed to be safe, non judgmental spaces for Mommies to meet and discuss the difficulties of parenting in the modern world, you'll have some sort of postpartum-hormone-fueled riot on your hands.  Trust me, a guy doing 15 to life with a shank made from a toothbrush is nothing compared to a stay-at-home Mommy wielding a few diaper pins and some research from Google, M.D.

Look, I'm a dirty hippie, but even I vaccinate my kids against the really scary stuff.  The problem is that Rose is a little baby.  She can't get the MMR vaccine until she's over a year old, so taking her out in public to a place where it's entirely possible she could catch some horrible disease is just not a risk I'm willing to take.

So if you're looking for me, chances are you'll find me at home, on the computer, googling "how to make a shank out of a portable breast pump", just so I'm prepared when I finally go back to the classes and some psycho Mommy throws down.

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