Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Preschool Panic: School-less in Los Angeles

He's got the name tag, now we just need a school to wear it to.
Famous Urban Myths:
  • The girl who had a bad acid trip and now thinks she's a glass of orange juice.
  • The guy who wakes up in a tub full of ice without a kidney.
  • The family that gets rejected by every preschool they applied to.
Oh, wait.  That last one isn't a myth...it's us.

That's right, my friends, I may be the first person you know who has not only failed at a career in the entertainment industry, but also failed at getting her kid into preschool!

On the positive side, at least I excel at failure.  So there is that.

There's still a small chance that we may get into our last and final option, but considering I heard yesterday that they only have five spots available for non-siblings this year, it's not looking good.  I don't know how many applications there were for those five spots, but I'm guessing somewhere in the hundreds?  Let's just say that it's 500 families competing for five spots.  Math isn't my best subject, but according to my calculations our probability of getting in is somewhere in the "snowball's chance in Hell" range.

As of this very minute, we've been waitlisted at two schools and we missed the application deadline for another.  So unless we're granted some sort of Passover miracle and we get one of the coveted non-sibling spots at the aforementioned institute of lower learning, we're shit out of luck.

Here's the kicker: not only does the possibility of not getting into a school mean that I have to prepare myself for another whole year of having two children home with me all day every day, but I'll have to repeat this whole torturous process of applying for preschool again next year!

That's right, I'll have to fill out all the applications. Again.  Pay all the application fees. Again.  And somehow manage to do all of this while simultaneously caring for two children, one of whom is an active toddler with nothing to do all day.  Just send me to the nut house right now, because that's where I'm going to end up.

You know what really chaps my hide?  The idea that the crazy parents got into their first choice schools, and that we've been told to take a hike.  Which just goes to show you that there is no justice in the world, especially when it comes to preschool education.  

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