Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Yum, Placenta!


I am the lady who has eaten her own placenta.  Twice.

Just in case you're worried that I'm sitting at my desk chewing on strips of placenta jerky and chugging white wine, I promise that is not the case.  Even I'm not quite that hippie dippy.  While I certainly believe in the placenta's healing properties, I don't really need to know what they taste like.  No, I have a nice little jar full of placenta capsules that's accessorized with a heart-shaped piece of my daughter's dried up umbilical cord.  I know, it's like I've suddenly become too Berkeley even for myself.

But I have to tell you that I've been tossing back the placenta pills like they are candy recently.  I've been feeling kind of "blah" of late.  I suspect it's primarily because I've been sleeping in 45 minute increments for over a month now, but there's nothing like having a new baby and a toddler to make you feel like your life is completely over.  Even though it has been four months since the Little Lady made her entrance downstage vagina, I'm still not really back to my old self.  I'm exhausted, overwhelmed, and have not even the faintest desire to go out drinking with my girlfriends, which is a sign that I am most definitely feeling down.

When I decided to encapsulate my placenta the first time around I was somewhat skeptical.  I wasn't entirely convinced that a few pills full of afterbirth would be helpful, but I figured it was worth giving it a shot.  At the cost of $250, if the pills actually did make me feel better it would be far less expensive than meeting my insurance deductible for inpatient psychiatric care were I to really go off the postpartum deep end.

It was so worth it, my friends.

If you can handle the inherent "ick" factor that exists in bringing your placenta home in a cooler, I highly recommend that you think seriously about encapsulating.  I would also like to highly recommend that you not actually look at your placenta, as you'll probably already feel nauseous after giving birth and the thought of ingesting something that looks so disgusting might just make your last prebaby meal come back up, but that's your call.

Personally, I find that the placenta pills are incredibly effective at keeping me out of the abyss.  I'm not saying that they are ever going to be as effective as an actual prescribed anti-depressant, but in my case whenever I feel that I'm just on the brink of going over the edge, taking a rather significant dose of capsules (8-10) helps me get back on track.  Sure, it's a little bit weird, and it's entirely possible it's all just a placebo effect, but I'm willing to get behind anything that keeps me from embarrassing myself in the greeting card aisle at my local Rite Aide.

Besides, supposedly there's a real demand for placenta on the Chinese black market, so if you find they aren't effective, you can always recoup your money.  

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