Monday, June 30, 2014

Baby On Board

Assuming that Baby Girl doesn't make an early entrance downstage vagina, we're just one week and four days away from my enjoying a very dry martini.  Oh, and you know, having a second child. I still haven't packed my hospital bag or brought in the cradle from the garage or installed the infant carseat or anything, but I've spent an awful lot of time cruising Pinterest for nursery wall decor ideas, so there is that.

I suppose the best part about being a second time parent is that you're much more relaxed about everything.  In my case I didn't think it was possible to be more relaxed about Motherhood without being deceased, but it turns out there's a level of chill beneath even my laissez faire parenting style.  Just imagine how much more cool, calm, and collected I would be if I could still take Xanax! (read: sedated).  

You'll be proud to hear that I am fully and totally committed to the whole natural birth thing again, so I've been practicing my self-hypnosis techniques and taking all these weird homeopathic supplements and drinking bucket loads of Red Raspberry Leaf Tea to tone my uterus (gross, I know) so I'm hoping this kid pretty much just slides out like she's on a ride at Raging Waters.  I was a little bit on the fence a few months ago about going the au natural route, but if you've done it once it seems like kind of a cop out not to do it again.  Anyway, it's incredibly empowering to give birth naturally, it's supposed to be easier the second time around, and they pump you up with pain drugs afterwards, so what's not to like?!  

On that note, I am going to be taking a few weeks off from blogging here at MiM while I recover from pushing a large human out of my lady parts.  If I can get my sh*t together I'll try and have some interesting posts lined up for while I'm away, but considering I can't seem to find the time to shower and finish all my pre-registration hospital paperwork I can't promise anything.  Don't worry, I'm not signing off until the end of this week, so that gives you a few days to get used to the idea of having to survive corporate drudgery without my internet musings.  

And now I'm off to pack my hospital bag... right after I check out what's happening on Pinterest.  

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