Monday, April 21, 2014

Mommy Wants an F-ing Cracker

Okay, fess up.  How many of you have a seriously terrible Easter candy hangover thanks to your uncontrollable urge to steal chocolate bunnies and Cadbury eggs from your children?!  It's an epidemic, I'm telling you.  I've managed to dodge the candy blues only thanks to the fact that I have to take the horrible, no good, very bad Glucose Tolerance Test tomorrow and I refuse to flunk.  I'm eating only proteins and veggies and all the food that's good for you and all I want to do is take myself to Dylan's Candy Bar and eat my way through every single bin.  Forcing a pregnant woman to abstain from eating anything with carbs or sugars is some kind of terrorist-sanctioned torture, especially around Easter time.  Thanks to Noah's young age, the contents of his Easter baskets were mostly little toys, but the one dark chocolate bunny he did receive is taunting me each time I walk by it grinning at me from our sideboard.  I can guarantee you that as soon as they draw my blood tomorrow I will be committing some sort of hate crime against chocolate animals and devouring that bunny's innocent, smiling face.  I'm salivating just thinking about it.  

Other than my inability to consume anything with flavor we had a lovely Easter that actually included  a wonderful brunch and time spent with family.  I can't tell you what a nice change it was to sit down at the dining room table and have a civilized meal (complete with tablecloth and silver place settings) instead of just eating my son's leftovers off of his highchair tray.  It's the little things you appreciate once you become a parent; pathetic, I know.  

I'm off to attempt to assuage my constant hunger and sugar cravings with yet another serving of f-ing raw nuts, so if you happen to hear loud sobs coming from the vicinity of Koreatown adjacent, it's just me standing in my kitchen, longing for a carbohydrate.  

2 comments:

  1. Yes and even worst is Halloween! Great post.

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    1. Oh, Pamela, so true! I try not to buy the candy until the day before Halloween, otherwise I somehow find myself sitting on the couch re-watching the Friday Night Lights series finale and eating mini Snickers bars while crying.

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