Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Preschool Panic: Free Stuff Edition

Now that 2014 is well under way we're back in the preschool game again.  We had a nice little respite for a few months during the holidays, but I'm now back to scheduling tours and making decisions about where we're going to apply.  It's kind of hard to believe, but we actually have to apply before the end of this year, as the Muffin Man will be headed to preschool in the fall of 2015.  It's tough for me to grasp that my sweet little baby boy will soon be spending his days under the watchful eyes of trained teachers rather than under my lackluster supervision.  Not to sound too cliché or anything, but the time really does go by fast.

I'm glad that I started the preschool search early, because now that I'm pregnant and tired and altogether somewhat unpleasant, I think I would be completely overwhelmed were I faced with starting from the drawing board right now.  Thanks to my tours and research last year, I have a pretty decent idea of what we are and are not looking for in a school.  I do often find myself shaking my head in awe and/or disgust at the things one is expected to do to gain admittance to these institutions of lower learning.  It's pretty much a given that you're expected to have a letter of recommendation from a current or former family, but I guess now it's a common thing for prospective families to donate items and volunteer to help with a school's fundraising event.  You read that correctly, my friends: you're expected to give desirable items away for free and volunteer your time for a school your kid doesn't even attend in order to secure his or her acceptance.  This is just so patently ridiculous I can't even handle it.  Momma don't play that.  I certainly have no plans to run around town donating a free week's stay at my family's vacation home, nor do I have any intention of volunteering my (non-existent) free time to help raise money for art supplies for somebody else's snot-nosed kid.  NO NO and NO.  Let me just reiterate that in case you missed it the first time: NO F-ING WAY.

Make no mistake that I will volunteer and give away free sh*t like it's Halloween candy once Noah is an actual student at whichever preschool we choose, but I have no plans to buy my way into freaking preschool.  I like to think that Noah will be accepted at a school because of who is and who we are as a family, and not simply because they want to use me for my Hawaiian vacation connection.  Now let's just hope I don't regret being all up on my high horse when we're forced to move to Connecticut because every school in Los Angeles rejected us.

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