Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Got Tested

Chillin' at the lab.
Friends, I can't adequately explain to you how horrible the Muffin Man's blood test was yesterday.  Imagine, if you will, your ten month old child being held down by two strangers while he screams bloody murder and has tears running down his face.  They took five vials of blood from his sweet little baby arm, which actually went pretty quickly, but it took the phlebotomist forever to find the vein and insert the needle.  I don't even think it was the needle stick that bothered Noah the most, but rather the tourniquet being around his arm for ten minutes (I don't blame the kid, that's always been my least favorite part too).  While rationally I grasped that this was a necessary evil to ensure that Noah is healthy, I honestly felt like I was torturing the poor child.  I never understood this until I became a parent, but I don't think there is anything worse than seeing your child in pain.  Even my six foot tall, 190 pound, manly Hubby was damaged from the experience.  I really think that Quest Diagnostics should offer Vodka shots to traumatized parents or, at the very least, give out directions to the closest bar.  While Noah recovered quickly and was back to his old self within an hour, his parents spent the balance of yesterday walking around in shock.  Needless to say I poured myself a very large glass of wine last night after the kiddo went to bed, and we both fell asleep before 10PM.

For now we're just biding our time until we hear from our pediatrician about the results of the tests.  I've been doing my utmost to get Noah to consume more calories.  The good news is that we've discovered the secret to getting the kiddo to eat: he wants to feed himself.  Instead of calling him the Muffin Man, I should be calling him Mr. Independent, because my ten month old child absolutely refuses to eat anything that he does not feed himself.  I should've realized this earlier, considering he has been this way practically since birth.  After all, he's been holding his own bottle since six months, so I suppose he just prefers to rely on himself for everything instead of others.  I have a feeling we're really going to be in trouble when he's a teenager and that lethal combination of independence and invincibility kicks in.   Turns out the apple doesn't fall far from the tree as I have vague, drug-clouded memories of being this way myself.  God help me.

****On a somewhat related note: Plum Organics has recalled a huge number of their baby food pouches.  Click here to find out if the products you purchased were affected.****

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