Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Motherhood FAIL of the Week: Baby Manicure

He was not amused.  
Monday morning the Muffin Man woke up with a deep scratch on his left cheek.  Concerned that further scratches could lead to permanent scarring and jeopardize his future should he be interested in acting, I decided to take decisive action and cut his finger nails.  While this sounds like a simple enough task, there are two things to keep in mind: I haven't used a nail clipper in at least 20 years thanks to all of my friends named Kim at my local nail salon, and getting a small wiggly child to sit still long enough to actually trim his nails is no small feat.  Prior to this inaugural nail cutting, Noah's fingernails have been soft enough to tear off without much effort.  I guess now that he's older his nails are no longer waterlogged from his stay at Motel Womb, and so I've been forced to break out the baby nail clippers.  Monday afternoon I managed to somehow figure out a way to hold Noah down so I could cut his nails. I worked quickly and was feeling very proud of myself...until I clipped too much of one of his little nails and drew blood.  Noah proceeded to howl and writhe in pain while I apologized profusely for maiming him.  After at least 30 minutes of non stop crying he finally calmed down, but he did give me the evil eye for the rest of the afternoon.  Thankfully, Noah seems to have recovered from his injury and is back to his usual self.  I, however, am not interested in reliving this minor form of baby torture anytime soon.  Sure he has a new scratch on his face this morning, but I'm not going to stress; acne scars haven't slowed down Brad Pitt's career.  Just remind me to ask "Kim" how much she charges for a baby manicure when I'm at the nail salon on Friday.

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